How do we let go of a relationship that is over? Do you still love someone but they don't love you anymore? Do you want to try and make things work but they don't? Sometimes we have to let go and move on, but that can be easier said than done. Here are some things that have helped me.
10 Ways to Let Go and Move On
1. Take responsibility: This is not about taking the blame. It's about taking control and deciding not to be a victim. "The moment you take responsibility for everything in your life, is the moment you can change anything in your life."
2. Forgive the other party: If we really love the other person, than we need to bless and release them, instead of resenting them for shutting us out. Forgiving the other party dissolves the burden of resentment.
3. Forgive ourselves: If we really love ourselves, than we need to forgive ourselves for our part in what went wrong.
4. Feel the bad feelings: Stuffing, covering up, or trying to hide our shadows only prolongs our pain. If we feel sad, let's have a good cry. Crying is the body's normal biological response to loss. Studies show that when we are in emotional pain and we cry, the body releases cortisol and other chemicals through our tears. That's why after we cry, we fell better. So go ahead and ball your eyes out. It's good for you.
5. Perform a ritual: Write it down on a rock and throw it through their window. Haha - just kidding! Seriously, performing a ritual that symbolizes whatever it is you are trying to let go, can be super powerful. You can write in sharpie on a rock and throw it in a lake, river or ocean. You could build a fire and perform a ceremony by burning something that represents whatever it is you are trying to release. There are lots of directions to go in here.
6. Talk to the other person's soul: I do this with my mother all the time who has Alzheimers, and I am doing it now with my niece. Close your eyes in a nice quiet place, take a few deep breaths and relax, and then have a silent conversation with the person. You can tell them anything you want. You can ask questions too. Then just allow them time to respond. You may be surprised by what you discover.
7. Change a limiting belief: If, for example, I have the belief that "This is all her fault" or "This is all MY fault", I can change either of those to, "Everyone was, and is, doing the best they can, including me."
8. Quiet our animal mind: Being aware of our runaway negative and fearful thoughts is really important. Meditating, walking in the woods, and taking good care of our bodies allows us to handle stressful relationships and situations deliberately, instead of automatically.
9. Re-frame it with gratitude: Asking ourselves, "What am I grateful for about this person or situation?" can completely transform how we view it.
10. Fill the void with something new and wonderful: By letting go of the longing for things to be different than they are, we are creating space for all the new, wonderful experiences that are waiting in the wings. Making a list of how we are going to spend all our new found energy and time, is energizing.
It's the end of the year and the perfect opportunity to bless and release anything or anyone you want.
What do you want to let go of that is no longer serving you?
Happy Holidays xoxo