If you clicked on this post, I would guess that you are trying to create lasting change in your body and lifestyle. Yes?
And I would also assume that you want to live a long, healthy life filled with boundless energy and adventure, in a body, let’s face it, that is BAD ASS & STRUT WORTHY?
Does this sound right?
Ok, if this is the case, there is one crucial thing you are going to have to do first.
In fact, if you don’t do it, you cannot succeed.
Transforming yourself into a fit, strong bad ass mom is not going to happen without radically changing your IDENTITY first.
Why? Because the old you is the one that got you into this place of dis-satisfaction to begin with!
The old you ate the junk food.
The old you put herself last.
The old you didn’t listen to her body when it said it was full.
The old you didn’t make physical fitness a priority.
The old you spent her time, energy & money NOT taking care of herself.
In short, the old you didn’t love herself enough.
As long as we are trying to create lasting change with the old version of ourselves, we are destined to fail. Every. Single. Time.
It’s like trying to run new software on an old computer. It just doesn’t work.
Shifting your identity isn’t as hard as you might think.
Let’s use me as an example.
Old Identity: Depleted, depressed, out of shape mom who doesn’t have the time and energy to take care of herself because she always puts herself last, thinking she is being a good person for doing so.
New identity: Fit, strong, bad ass mom who puts herself first, and chooses people, foods, activities, thoughts and feelings that build her up, which allow her greater capacity to give to her loved ones.
Now it’s your turn. Let’s get crystal clear on exactly who this NEW YOU is.
What does she do EVERYDAY?
What does she eat?
What does she look like?
What does she believe about herself?
How does she show up in the world?
Everything you do is determined by the person who
YOU DECIDE YOU ARE.
Align who you are with the behavioral changes you are trying to make, and your life will immediately stop feeling like such a struggle. You no longer will have to rely on will power and inner strength.
It will just be who you are.
You don’t wake up in the morning and ask yourself, “Hmmmm should I brush my teeth today? I’m not really in the mood, I’ll just try and brush them tomorrow.”
No…you are the kind of person who brushes their teeth everyday. Right?
How about becoming the kind of person who does other healthy things too?
You could become the kind of person who eats clean, gets enough sleep, doesn’t smoke, meditates every morning, works out every day, hangs out with positive people, spends time in nature, challenges herself, speaks her truth, and more.
The new you can be a fit, strong, bad ass mom, or whatever else she desires to be. The old you cannot.
So let go of that old identity and create a new one! You've got the power. You decide.
Have a great day taking radically good care of yourself.
P.S. If you found this post interesting or helpful, please like it and leave a comment. Thanks!
Here is the scene. I am at a birthday party and it's almost cake time. So far I have been staying strong avoiding all the junky food until someone passes me a piece of chocolate cake. In a split second I decide, "one little piece couldn't hurt."
The cruel self annihilation usually starts right when I begin eating the cake. I start telling myself how I have no will power, how I am a fraud (trainers don't eat cake), how if only I was stronger, better, smarter, more disciplined, less lazy, I would never eat the cake.
I start thinking thoughts like..."I KNEW there was going to be cake. It's a birthday party! If I had planned better I would have brought a healthy snack...another failure! This must be 800 calories, omg! I'll have to starve for the rest of the day to make up for this!"
This internal conversation goes on for a while and, if I don't get a handle on it, can quickly lead to the classic "Fuck it" scenario which is my excuse to over-indulge on anything and everything for the rest of the day. I think, "the day is already ruined so nothing matters now."
I wake up the next day feeling horrible inside and out, wondering what the hell happened? Have you ever done this? Crazy, right?
Well, I say NO MORE! and NEVER AGAIN! I have a new strategy. When I choose to eat a piece of cake or something else that is not healthy, I now enjoy it. Instead of beating myself up, I think about how yummy it is, and about who made it, and about the pretty frosting, and the texture.
Instead of stuffing self loathing right down my throat with the sugar, I use it as an opportunity for mindful eating. I view it as a chance to re-commit to my clean eating goals.
Why? The best analogy I can come up with is football...
What does Tom Brady do every time he throws an interception, or gets sacked, or fumbles? He gets RIGHT back in the game....mentally and physically. He knows that those mistakes do not DEFINE him. In fact, what defines him is his ability to bounce right back, re-focus and re-commit to the job at hand.
Every time we fall off the wagon, we have the opportunity to get better and faster at the BOUNCE BACK. We are building bounce back muscles! Which is kind of awesome.
Despite what the voice in your head might be telling you, you are not a failure, a loser, or a choker for eating a little bit of dessert. You are simply mastering your bounce back skills!
So re-adjust and get back in the game immediately! The day is NOT ruined! It's just a speed bump, not a major disaster. :-)
Have a great day taking radically good care of yourself.
You said, "Yes!". You jumped! You signed up for it.
It doesn't matter what IT is.
Whether you are training for a fight, starting a new business, having a baby, or losing 20 pounds, what matters is: you agreed, you signed a contract with yourself, you gave your word, you set the wheels in motion, you are ALL IN, you are COMMITTED.
Well, you have just given yourself the greatest gift. Your commitment. And when you commit to a goal, really cool shit starts to happen.
Your commitment tells you what to do everyday. It keeps you on your path when you feel like quitting. And it shows you what you are really made of...which is some pretty awesome stuff btw!
Your commitment is your best friend, your greatest ally. It is rooting for you, and has your back at every turn.
Your commitment is a speed of light message to the Universe, a clarion call that says, "She is serious! Let's go!"
This is where the magic happens.
LEAN on your commitment. And believe. And everything you need will show up. Right. On. Time.
Have a great night,
How do we let go of a relationship that is over? Do you still love someone but they don't love you anymore? Do you want to try and make things work but they don't? Sometimes we have to let go and move on, but that can be easier said than done. Here are some things that have helped me.
10 Ways to Let Go and Move On
1. Take responsibility: This is not about taking the blame. It's about taking control and deciding not to be a victim. "The moment you take responsibility for everything in your life, is the moment you can change anything in your life."
2. Forgive the other party: If we really love the other person, than we need to bless and release them, instead of resenting them for shutting us out. Forgiving the other party dissolves the burden of resentment.
3. Forgive ourselves: If we really love ourselves, than we need to forgive ourselves for our part in what went wrong.
4. Feel the bad feelings: Stuffing, covering up, or trying to hide our shadows only prolongs our pain. If we feel sad, let's have a good cry. Crying is the body's normal biological response to loss. Studies show that when we are in emotional pain and we cry, the body releases cortisol and other chemicals through our tears. That's why after we cry, we fell better. So go ahead and ball your eyes out. It's good for you.
5. Perform a ritual: Write it down on a rock and throw it through their window. Haha - just kidding! Seriously, performing a ritual that symbolizes whatever it is you are trying to let go, can be super powerful. You can write in sharpie on a rock and throw it in a lake, river or ocean. You could build a fire and perform a ceremony by burning something that represents whatever it is you are trying to release. There are lots of directions to go in here.
6. Talk to the other person's soul: I do this with my mother all the time who has Alzheimers, and I am doing it now with my niece. Close your eyes in a nice quiet place, take a few deep breaths and relax, and then have a silent conversation with the person. You can tell them anything you want. You can ask questions too. Then just allow them time to respond. You may be surprised by what you discover.
7. Change a limiting belief: If, for example, I have the belief that "This is all her fault" or "This is all MY fault", I can change either of those to, "Everyone was, and is, doing the best they can, including me."
8. Quiet our animal mind: Being aware of our runaway negative and fearful thoughts is really important. Meditating, walking in the woods, and taking good care of our bodies allows us to handle stressful relationships and situations deliberately, instead of automatically.
9. Re-frame it with gratitude: Asking ourselves, "What am I grateful for about this person or situation?" can completely transform how we view it.
10. Fill the void with something new and wonderful: By letting go of the longing for things to be different than they are, we are creating space for all the new, wonderful experiences that are waiting in the wings. Making a list of how we are going to spend all our new found energy and time, is energizing.
It's the end of the year and the perfect opportunity to bless and release anything or anyone you want.
What do you want to let go of that is no longer serving you?
Happy Holidays xoxo